It should have been a profound moment in my late 20’s when my father said:

“Maree, why bother even talking at that function last night, your drinking did all the talking for you. If you trash yourself at a work function like that, your behaviour speaks louder than anything you are saying.”

Drinking like a fish and then expecting people to listen to whatever pearls of wisdom you drop is, well, kind of pointless.

No-one cares what you are saying. They are watching what you are doing.

It’s the age old premise that if you respect yourself then others will respect you.

I questioned my relationship with alcohol then but I didn’t question my relationship with myself. Now, that would’ve been profound.

It wasn’t until I stopped drinking completely that I began the process of discovering that my relationship with myself needed more than an overhaul. It needed a complete rebuild.

It really was an epiphany when I realised alcohol wasn’t the problem; it was how I used alcohol that was my issue. Only starting from a sober standing place, was I able to get help to work through and heal the self-worth issues I needed to; if I didn’t want to relapse.

And what I find even more interesting is that most people I’ve known with a drinking problem, including myself, haven’t even thought through the relationship they are choosing to have with themselves.

They are just on automatic pilot like almost everyone else.

They are living out the lives and unconscious conditioning of their families, workplace, sports club or peers, and they are very often self-medicating trauma and low self-worth at the same time and without realising it.

I also ran around dying little half deaths all over the place after trashing my mind body and spirit night after night and binge session after binge session.

You can heal yourself. The first step is to stop and ask

the following questions:

Do I respect myself?

Would those close to me say thatI respect myself?

What actions do I take that show I respect myself?

Have I been blaming alcohol for my problems when it’s not alcohol’s fault; and instead t’s my habitual approach to alcohol that might need looking at?

Is my drinking masking uncomfortable feelings that need dealing with?

Only you get to decide the relationship you have with yourself and if you need help to do that then reach out. You can take review whether a  30 min Life Coaching session with me is a fit for you, here.