Unf*ck yourself – Article 3

Five minutes each week that could change your life.

So, who’s had a goal and not been able to reach it? Hands up? Anyone?

Well, chances are if you had the discipline, motivation, time and perseverance then you may have been lacking the right sized steps between you and your goal.

Some of us are not good at breaking things down into achievable smaller steps.

Some of us are BIG picture people not detail orientated people. The result? The steps that are standing between ourselves and reaching our most heartfelt desires remain unclimbable.

So? Find a detail orientated friend and ask for their help because YOU are standing between yourself and what you really want.

Remember, before you choke on your mouthful of pride, people love to give advice. I know. I’ve got a whole newsletter dedicated to giving solicited advice.

Now, don’t laugh but I’m going to tell you about a friend who nearing 50 decided that it was time to meet Mr. Right . Her masterplan was broken down into achievable steps.

A stunning statuesque blonde with a Mensa IQ you’d assume this exercise would be a walk in the park. Quite the contrary, she was living on a small island where women outnumbered men 4-1.

Men also found her mix of brains and beauty so intimidating they usually ran in the opposite direction as fast as possible when they met her.

Fortunately, this did not deter said statuesque detail orientated blonde, she had a large bustling metropolis 30 minutes away by ferry and a smart phone. 

Once her thinking cap was on it took her no time at all to come up with a successful online dating strategy.

She swiped left and left and left, and wrote up a short-list of potential candidates numbered 1-10 starting with the potential best fit first. 9 men were to be met per week from 3 dating apps (tinder, bumble & hinge). She had a +/- allowance of 10% for no-shows.

This required a significant investment, 3 return ferry tickets to the city a week, 2 coffees, the odd uber and a lunch, (the statuesque blonde had principles too, she invited for lunch and coffee, so she paid except in one case where the gentleman got up and paid for lunch while she was in the bathroom). So sure she was that her strategy would yield the desired result, the blonde allowed a week off per month, within her 3 month timeframe, to rest from the arduous work of finding her paramour. 

The men she thought most suitable got the lunch slots, while the coffees were reserved for the maybe’s. If the coffee went well and there was a soul spark and she found them interesting to talk too she would elevate them to a dinner slot.

This went on for 2 months with a fairly high attrition process, most of them were axed after coffee, a few lunches made it to a dinner slot and one surprise coffee leapfrogged to a dinner slot.

The coffee that leapfrogged to a dinner slot, had two more dinners in town and was then was invited to the island for dinner and introduced to the best friend for vetting.

He passed with flying colours and they did the wild thing (the statuesque blonde and the successful candidate, not the best friend and the successful candidate) and tell anyone that will listen that you can meet the love of your life on an internet dating site.

3 years later, he’s still in love with her, she gets annoyed with his children and now they’re arguing like a happily married couple. 

The moral of the story? If you’re finding a deep chasm exists between what you think you really want, and your current reality? It may help to take a look at how far apart your steps are from each other and if you still can’t break it down into manageable chunks? Somewhere within your circle of family and friends there is an organised, detail orientated type A personality just waiting to to be asked.

As usual, I’d love to hear how it went and make sure you let me know if I can use your breakthrough to inspire others.

Until next time,


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